The Confidential Parody Project

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Fatebringer the 2nd
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Re: The Confidential Parody Project

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Fri Oct 07, 2016 2:32 pm

Welp. I'm alive. How are you all?

Chapter 5
A… Wizard’s Duel?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
AFC Courtyard


“Wow!” Exclaimed Athena. “I can’t believe that you got to be the new seeker for Gryffindor, after Trouble challenged you in a very passive-aggressive way involving a remembrall somehow, Tornado!”

“I can.” Tornado blankly answered. “I was there, you know.”

Unfazed, Athena started to talk again. “And I also can’t believe-“

Merv interrupted him, however. “Why are you describing what just happened? It’s as if you’re covering for a writer who has writers block by simply describing things that he had no ideas on how to show!”

Everyone in the entire school had stopped dead in their tracks, frozen in place. But Merv, now lost in a train of thought, didn’t notice.

“In fact…” She continued. “That would explain loads of things… Like how the headmaster was taken seriously when he changed the house names, and how all of us hate Trouble without any reason to really do so… and how-“

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LOADING….

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-believe he had the guts!” Athena rambled more. Tornado was beginning to lose patience

“Again. I was there. Right next to you.”

Merv blinked rapidly. “Wait, how did I get here?!”

Athena looked at her, confused. “We walked from the courtyard. On the way, Trouble challenged Tornado to a Wizard’s Duel, and he did so with such-”

Tornado wasn’t going to allow Athena to start all over again. “Don’t do it. I will hex you.”

Merv shook her head. “No, no no. I was there, and now I’m here! Without warning! How?!

Athena shook his head and laughed. “Merv, you must be really tired, why don’t you go upstairs? Take a nap, and never question reality again.

He said this with a ditzy, innocent smile. As if there was nothing strange about that sentence at all.

Merv weakly said “Okay.” And walked to the girls dormitories to quietly have an existential crisis.

Athena looked puzzled as he watched her go. “What’s up with her? Was it something I said?”

Tornado responded only with “Why should I care?”

“Well, I mean, the Moderator Hat did say you needed to be chivalrous every now or then.”

“Yeah. I’m choosing to be chivalrous ‘then’ rather than ‘now’”

An awkward silence followed, broken by Athena asking “So… can I be your second in the Wizard’s duel?”

“No.”

“B-but, why not?!”

“Because we’d be sneaking out after dark, and I guarantee we’d be caught if you were following me singing Justin Bieber songs the whole time.”

“But, chivalry! The Moderator Hat said chivalry!”

“…That has nothing to do with this. Do you know what that word means?”

“Yeah!” Athena shouted indignantly. “It’s like… giving candy to women, right?”

“You’re not coming with me.”

“What if I promise not to sing terrible pop songs?”

Tornado thought about it, and then nodded. “Okay. But no drinking songs either.”

Athena looked dismayed. “You’re no fun…”

_____________________________
Hershey’s Common Room

Trouble Malfoy was very, very worried.

All of the school seemed convinced that he had challenged Tornado to a wizard’s duel, when all he had said was that Tornado was an impressive wizard. They seemed to take it as him challenging Tornado and claiming he was better in a sarcastic comment.

It’s not like these things surprised him anymore. Ever since starting his first year, he had already been accused of being a You-Know-Who supporter, stealing approximately 76 galleons, attempting to poison a Nestle third year, and illegal possession of a flying carpet. This was really one of the less significant things he’d been accused of.

“Malfoy’s going to destroy Tornado.” He heard a student whisper today. “I hear he practices Unforgivable Curses on kittens in his spare time.”

He wondered how that particular rumor started. Is it because he said the he loved playing with kittens a couple weeks ago to Pavarti Patil? No wonder she looked horrified.

He knew that Tornado was going to sneak out in the middle of the night and go to the trophy room. He also knew he would wait there for hours until Trouble showed. But Trouble had no intention of fighting him. What to do?

Maybe… Maybe he could tell someone he could trust to meet Tornado instead, and tell him that Trouble meant no ill will. But who could he trust?

Perhaps Mr. Filch? Yeah! He’d always been nice to Trouble! That’s exactly what he’d do!

_____________________________
AFC Academy Halls, After Hours

As Tornado and Athena snuck through the halls, Athena was singing “Uptown Funk.” Quietly, but very distinctly.

After a while of this, Tornado sighed. “Athena, I thought you promised not to sing pop songs.”

“I promised not to sing terrible ones. I think this one is pretty good!”

Tornado surpressed the urge to facepalm the rest of the way to the trophy room.

Once they got there, they peered in, and noticed that instead of Malfoy in the middle of the room, there was Argus Filch, and his cat, Mrs. Norris.

Athena was furious. “I can’t believe it, Tornado! This was all a trap! Trouble just intended for us to get caught the whole time! Come on, we need to hurry up and get out of here before he notices us!”

Athena immediately started running, dragging Tornado with him, who could really care less about how quickly they got away.

Of course, since Athena wasn’t paying attention the entire way down to the Trophy Room, he winded them down every possible wrong hallway until they reached a rather ominous one on the third floor.

“Stop.” Said Tornado.

Athena halted in place, his feet skidding like brakes. “What’s up? We’re almost there.”

“We were almost there 10 minutes ago, you even passed right by the portrait to the common room and kept going.”

“I’m sorry! Th-they all look the same, OK?”

“Our portrait is of a giant red M’n’M. How does that look in any way similar to all the other portraits?”

“Um… A-are we going to debate this, or are we going to go back to our common room?”

“As much as I’d absolutely love to, going to the common room seems the far better option, especially since I’m pretty sure Professor FadingLight said that people could die in this corridor.”

“Actually, didn’t he say this hallway had rock candy in it or something? That doesn’t seem too bad.”

As soon as Athena finished saying that, however, he stopped walking due to the fact that he came face to face with a large, growling, three headed dog.

“…Or maybe he said your bones would be shattered like rock candy if you were to enter it. Yeah… that might be it. That man talks about candy too much, makes everything confusing. Do you think so too, Tornado?”

“I think FadingLight’s candy addiction is the least of our problems and that we have far more pressing concerns.”

The dog had started to drool on Athena’s shoulder. “Oh, right. That. We should probably leave, huh?”

“I mean, if you want to stay here and get eaten alive, be my guest.”

“Right, I’m… going to go now.” Athena ran down the halls, and immediately made a wrong turn.

Tornado, however, slowly and casually walked towards the common room. Athena got there 20 minutes later. He said he got lost on the eighth floor.

There was no eighth floor.
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(Clownpiece will make America great again, by the way.)

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Rocket Axxonu
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Re: The Confidential Parody Project

Postby Rocket Axxonu » Tue Oct 18, 2016 5:33 am

(Hey, I'm alive too. ;9)

LOL, I love how part of the scene was cut out. XD!! (And only Merv thought maybe something might be wrong.) Ah, computer issues. (Reminds me just a bit of the YouTube buffer...oh, the frustration.) Favorite part was Trouble's, though. XD!!! (Poor kid, he's just trying to do the right thing, guys.)

What next? :3
“After all, absolutely no one can help but suspect a criminal, liar, and manipulator of committing crimes, lying, and manipulating. And of course, no one is more aware of that simple fact than Artemis Fowl.”

Opal sets into motion her most diabolical scheme yet, to frame Artemis and turn his closest friends against him. Only this time she has a new calculating partner who knows Artemis better than he knows himself. [Post TAC]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8336552/1/Noble-Heart ...Shameless self-advertising, guys! C;

(And if you're really bored: http://axxonu.deviantart.com/gallery/28912232/Artemis-Fowl AF fanart. ;J)

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Fatebringer the 2nd
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Re: The Confidential Parody Project

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Mon Oct 24, 2016 9:24 pm

The troll scene should be next, actually. Brainstorming, will be out by wednesday at the latest I promise
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Re: The Confidential Parody Project

Postby Rocket Axxonu » Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:16 pm

Great! I'll be looking for it then! :3
“After all, absolutely no one can help but suspect a criminal, liar, and manipulator of committing crimes, lying, and manipulating. And of course, no one is more aware of that simple fact than Artemis Fowl.”

Opal sets into motion her most diabolical scheme yet, to frame Artemis and turn his closest friends against him. Only this time she has a new calculating partner who knows Artemis better than he knows himself. [Post TAC]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8336552/1/Noble-Heart ...Shameless self-advertising, guys! C;

(And if you're really bored: http://axxonu.deviantart.com/gallery/28912232/Artemis-Fowl AF fanart. ;J)

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Re: The Confidential Parody Project

Postby Troublelover16 » Mon Nov 28, 2016 11:13 pm

Oh my goodness, I finally got a chance to read this! It's amazing... and man, me as Malfoy... it's so great guys XD I JUST WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING OKAY?! :laughing:
Image

Troublelover's Song of the Moment: ~Sad Song-We The Kings~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZsXcc_tC-o&index=174

Spoiler:

You and I,
We're like fireworks
And symphonies exploding in the sky
With you, I'm alive
Like all the missing pieces of my heart,
They finally collide

So stop time right here in the moonlight
'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes

Without you, I feel broke
Like I'm half of a whole
Without you, I've got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I'm just a sad song

I'm just a sad song

2013 EA Winner of: The Friendly One, Best Taste in Avatars and Signatures,
Biggest AF Fanboy/Girl, Most Valued Non-Staff Contributor, Most Changed

2014/15 EA Winner of: Biggest Non-AF Fanboy/Girl


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