Artemis Fowl: The Musical Script

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Artemis Fowl: The Musical Script

Postby AF Lover » Sun Apr 05, 2015 8:37 pm

Note to the reader: This is for randomosity purposes only. No criticizing please!

Artemis Fowl: The Musical Script
ACT 1
SCENE 1

(Curtain opens. ARTEMIS and BUTLER stand alone center stage. Song.)
ARTEMIS: The Book!
BUTLER: The book, the book, the book.
ARTEMIS: I need it!
BUTLER: The book, the book, the book.
ARTEMIS: To find… the… farieeeeeeeeeeees!
(Song ends. NGUYEN enters)
NGUYEN: I know where you can find what you’re searching for.
ARTEMIS: Explain.
NGUYEN: A woman. She is what you seek.
ARTEMIS: So take us to her.
NGUYEN: No, no. Information only. I don’t want a curse on my head.
BUTLER: The time you had a choice is long in the past.
(NGYUEN points to SPRITE. ARTEMIS walks over to SPRITE.)
(Song)
ARTEMIS: The Book!
SPRITE: The book, the book, the book?
ARTEMIS: Give me yours!
SPRITE: The book, the book, the book?
ARTEMIS: Then you’ll… be… saaaaaaaaaaaaaaved!
(Song ends. SPRITE gives ARTEMIS the book, ARTEMIS gives SPRITE a glass of water. (I know it’s supposed to be wine, but this is kid-friendly!))
ARTEMIS: It’s been a pleasure doing business with you, Sprite.

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Re: Artemis Fowl: The Musical Script

Postby KearaAdara » Mon Apr 06, 2015 1:30 am

I know this isn't to be taken seriously, so good job! It was hilarious :D

Artemis singing though.

The mental image is nothing compared to Butler.

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Re: Artemis Fowl: The Musical Script

Postby FadingLight » Thu Apr 09, 2015 2:47 am

Yeah, good stuff! Even funnier when I actually imagined Artemis and Butler singing.

I want to see more!
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short

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Re: Artemis Fowl: The Musical Script

Postby AF Lover » Thu Apr 09, 2015 4:33 am

Feel free to make up your own song melody!
SCENE 2

(ARTEMIS opens a door.)
ARTEMIS: Mother, are you awake?
(Song)
ANGILINE: Of course I’m awake. How can I sleep in this blinding glare?
(ARTEMIS enters the room.)
ANGILINE: Artemis, darling, where have you been?
ARTEMIS: School trip, mother. Skiing in Austria.
ANGILINE: They crawl along the pillow and into my ears. At night that’s what I hear.
ARTEMIS: Mother, I-
ANGILINE: Do you here them? They’re everywhere. Now leave and don’t come back. I’ve been given such a scare.
(Song ends)
ANGILINE: Send that girl back up with the pickle slices. And make sure they’re clean this time.
(ANGILINE exits. ARTEMIS gets on the computer.)
ARTEMIS: Gnommish… Gnommish… What blasted translation system doesn’t have Gnommish?
(ARTEMIS clicks on Google Images. A Gnommish chart pops up. ARTEMIS looks at the Book, then back at the chart.)
ARTEMIS: Butler, get Juliet and come up here.
(BUTLER and JULIET enter.)
BUTLER: What’s the story, morning glory?
ARTEMIS: The leprechaun is bound by certain rituals. To renew their magic, the must pick a seed from a tree ((fine, an ancient oak tree by a bend in the river)) during a full moon.
JULIET: Well, Artemis, the thing is… Leprechauns, they’re not real, don’t you?
ARTEMIS: I assure you, Juliet, they are very real. Fairies are about to help me restore the Fowl Family fortune. All we have to do now is capture one.

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Re: Artemis Fowl: The Musical Script

Postby FadingLight » Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:18 am

I have recently found that I suck at making up melodies. But the line "What blasted translation system doesn't have Gnommish?" made me laugh. Google Translate, the AF community has a complaint!
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short

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Re: Artemis Fowl: The Musical Script

Postby AF Lover » Tue Apr 21, 2015 1:43 am

I actually got the idea from this fan-made trailer on youtube. I don't remember which one, though...

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Re: Artemis Fowl: The Musical Script

Postby D-Butler » Wed May 20, 2015 3:37 pm

I really am enjoying this. :shiny: It has this sort of Into The Woods vibe to it.
Image

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Re: Artemis Fowl: The Musical Script

Postby Athena32 » Sat Oct 10, 2015 12:20 am

I put the "What blasted translation system doesn't have Gnommish" on my signature. I just love that!
I'm fine, seeing as you asked.-Foaly
Gnommish… Gnommish… What blasted translation system doesn’t have Gnommish?


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