H: Depends on what you mean by 'punch.' If you're talking about friendly bumps on the shoulder, or we-may-be-friends-but-you're-really-bugging-me-right-now light boxing to the upper arm, then I probably punch Artemis at least three times a day when I'm at the manor. If you mean an actual fight, I'm not too sure...Technically, as an LEP officer, you're really not supposed to resort to punching in the line of work; instead, we carry stun weapons, and we know a variety of martial arts that let you subdue a suspect without hurting him. But I might have punched someone, or a few someones, during the whole fowl manor-techno crash fiasco. A lot of that's kind of a blur for me now. But the last time I clearly remember was when I was in Haven, and I'd just gotten my hair trimmed back down to a crew cut—it was starting to get so long it was getting in my eyes—and some elf I didn't know called out to me something like: “I like your hair.” Well, I wasn't in the mood to take his sarcasm, and I laid him out. Artemis told me later that from the inflection in his tone of voice, he probably actually meant it as a sincere compliment. Oops.
Q: In a previous interview, you said you were the second dunker on the police league team for crunchball. Did you play sports in the fairy high school/college? (Are the teams separated by gender, or co-ed?)
“After all, absolutely no one can help but suspect a criminal, liar, and manipulator of committing crimes, lying, and manipulating. And of course, no one is more aware of that simple fact than Artemis Fowl.”
Opal sets into motion her most diabolical scheme yet, to frame Artemis and turn his closest friends against him. Only this time she has a new calculating partner who knows Artemis better than he knows himself. [An Artemis Fowl fanfiction, set after The Atlantic Complex.] https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8336552/1/Noble-Heart
...Shameless self-advertising, guys! C;
(And if you're really bored: http://axxonu.deviantart.com/gallery/28912232/Artemis-Fowl
AF fanart. ;J)