Answering Machines for the Characters

All Artemis Fowl-related posting games and puzzles here.
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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby Inuyasha » Tue Jan 05, 2010 11:10 pm

Nice for Root. Lol.

and yes, I do think we're trying to out game each other.

Juliet: "Yo! Leave a message at the beep, unless your Artemis, then get you genii ass over here. We need to talk."

Don't ask. Just... don't.

Spiro: *silence* Last time I checked you didn't get an answering machine in prison.

Doodah: I'm COMING MULCH! Hey, you've reached Diggums &- I'm BLOODY COMING! GIVE ME A SECOND!- Diggums & Day PI. Sorry we're not- JUST ONE FRIGGIN MINUTE!!!- in right now. We'll get back as soon as- FINE YOU OLD WOMAN! I'm COMING ALREADY! *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

Pex: Uhhhhhh... Huh? *beep*

Holly: Hello. Sorry I can't get to thephine right now. Recon, ya know? Anyway, leave a message at the gunfire. Oh, and, if this is Artemis, what do you need me to do this time? *BANG!*
If music didn't exsist, I'd create it.
If poetry weren't in my life, I'd find it.
If all my friends up and left me, I'd make new ones.
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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby ILiveForTheDay » Wed Jan 06, 2010 10:40 pm

Opal:
Hey it's the beautiful, talented pixie Opal. If you think you are worthy enough please leave a message after the Opal Jingle. (like the London Tipton jingle only Opal-fied)
☺ ☻ ♥ ♠ ♣ ♦ • ◘ ♫ ☼ ☺ ♪ ♀ ◄ ↕ ‼ ► ↑ ↓ → § ← ∟ ↔ ▼ ▲ ! " £ $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + ¿

Grady: 'Cuz everytime you try to do something nice for us we end up sad
Nico: Or injured
Grady: Or in Mexico. . .

***
It's ALIVE.

☺ ☻ ♥ ♠ ♣ ♦ • ◘ ♫ ☼ ☺ ♪ ♀ ◄ ↕ ‼ ► ↑ ↓ → § ← ∟ ↔ ▼ ▲ ! " £ $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + ¿

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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby I rock » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:44 pm

Artemis:
At thr risk of being cliched, I'll been expecting you......after the beep.-BEEP!!

That was sucky
....
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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby ILiveForTheDay » Wed Feb 17, 2010 6:51 pm

^Nah, that was actually pretty funny (if a tad corny)

And these wouldn't really fit any of them (though I did try), but I was trying to find the physcotic answering machine and these popped up. I take no credit.

Mulch:
Hello, this is Mulch. (pause) Hello? Hello!!? Nah, just kidding. This is an answering machine.

Foaly: (or Root)
(Annoying mission impossible music in background) Good day, People. Your contact, [insert name], is not available right now. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name,number, and a brief message at the tone. This tape will self-destruct in thirty seconds. Good Luck, Foaly.

Artemis: (Oh c'mon)
(In the background can be heard Gregorian Chant or some other church music) <In a soft voice> Good Day My child, you have reached Artemis dial a confession. At the tone if you will leave your name, number and short confession I will get back to you with your pennance. Thank you and may God go with you.

Beckett and Myles:
Hi!! You've reached Beck's and Myles's room. We're not in right now. If this is our parents, we're at the library studying. Yeah, yeah, that's it, that's the ticket. If this is Sarah (Beckett's girlfriend), Beckett is out with the girls at the party. Yeah, that's it. If this is any one else, we're at a party and you're not. Yeah, a party with the president. Yeah and the .... pope. Yeah that's it. <beep>

Mulch: (I'm sure it's his type of humor)
Hi! Mulch's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Lilli: (or some other dumb charater)
I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

Chix:
I can't come to the phone now, so... hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I might even play my beep for you...

Artemis: (not sure , maybe Butler, but I think he would have more threats)
You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

Doodah Day: (Or Mulch or any other crimanal)
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

Foaly: (well he is always going on about mind-probing rays)
This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

Artemis:
"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of _your_ voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation, however our staff of professional extortionists will be contacting you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you." (BEEEEEEEEEEEP)

Butler: (he is never gonna get a girl like this...)
(Airplanes and machine guns in background) Hi, I'd come to the phone, but I'm UNDER ATTACK!

Mulch:
Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye.

YESSS! Right at the bottom I found it! (check out Youtube link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxkM3YTWu9s )
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask some to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 & 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we kow who you are and we know what you want, just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be diverted to the mothership
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you have a nervous disorder, please figet with the hash key until the beep
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press...No one will answer!
☺ ☻ ♥ ♠ ♣ ♦ • ◘ ♫ ☼ ☺ ♪ ♀ ◄ ↕ ‼ ► ↑ ↓ → § ← ∟ ↔ ▼ ▲ ! " £ $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + ¿

Grady: 'Cuz everytime you try to do something nice for us we end up sad
Nico: Or injured
Grady: Or in Mexico. . .

***
It's ALIVE.

☺ ☻ ♥ ♠ ♣ ♦ • ◘ ♫ ☼ ☺ ♪ ♀ ◄ ↕ ‼ ► ↑ ↓ → § ← ∟ ↔ ▼ ▲ ! " £ $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + ¿

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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby I rock » Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:21 pm

This one is for Butler:
Hello, this is erm....depending on who needs to know. If it's someone related to me, you'd know that I'm almost never here because I'm too busy saving the world with my employer. If this is my employer, it's ok I'm coming to get you. If this is anyone else, I shall either completely ignore you unless you're a threat or clober you sooner on. Yes, I shall attempt to try each of these after I hear your message-BEEP!!
ImageTake the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.


I <3 The Blind Guardian....don't know what it is? GOOGLE TO DA RESCUE...
You can't spell Party without Arty....lolz
I <3 You
Yes, I mean you, you hunk...
AM I CREEPING YOU OUT YET?

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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby Inuyasha » Wed Feb 24, 2010 8:44 pm

Grub:

Erm... Hi. Err- Sorry I can't come to the phone right now but- OH WHO AM I KIIDDING?!?! It's not like anyone's gonna call me anyway. It's not like I'm the great Trouble Kelp! *beeeeeeeeeep*

Holly:

Hey! You've reached, well, my answering machine. Sorry I can't pick up right now. If it's important, just keep trying. If this is Artemis, f*** off. Thanks for your call! *beep*
If music didn't exsist, I'd create it.
If poetry weren't in my life, I'd find it.
If all my friends up and left me, I'd make new ones.
My life is a colorful thing, and nothing will make it grey.

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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby ILiveForTheDay » Sat Mar 13, 2010 10:17 pm

Inuyasha wrote:Grub:

Erm... Hi. Err- Sorry I can't come to the phone right now but- OH WHO AM I KIIDDING?!?! It's not like anyone's gonna call me anyway. It's not like I'm the great Trouble Kelp! *beeeeeeeeeep*

Holly:

Hey! You've reached, well, my answering machine. Sorry I can't pick up right now. If it's important, just keep trying. If this is Artemis, f*** off. Thanks for your call! *beep*


I'm not sure if she would use human swearwords, but other than that you got Holly pretty much down to a T.
☺ ☻ ♥ ♠ ♣ ♦ • ◘ ♫ ☼ ☺ ♪ ♀ ◄ ↕ ‼ ► ↑ ↓ → § ← ∟ ↔ ▼ ▲ ! " £ $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + ¿

Grady: 'Cuz everytime you try to do something nice for us we end up sad
Nico: Or injured
Grady: Or in Mexico. . .

***
It's ALIVE.

☺ ☻ ♥ ♠ ♣ ♦ • ◘ ♫ ☼ ☺ ♪ ♀ ◄ ↕ ‼ ► ↑ ↓ → § ← ∟ ↔ ▼ ▲ ! " £ $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + ¿

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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby Mere Reflection » Sat May 01, 2010 2:04 am

Opal Koboi

'Why are you calling me, you unattractive worm. i really can't be bothered answering, I'm away for revenge.
If you are Artemis fowl, please jump off a cliff.
If you are Holly short, please push him and send me the vidio with a box of truffles.
If you are Julius Root, why the hell are you ringing me when your dead?
If you are JJ the lemur, please deposit yourself in a box to my front door.
if you are Mulch, i would enjoy using your remains to fertalise my flowers. Please come round presently.
If you are a mud man / woman, why the hell are you ringing me
If you are still listening, please die asap.
If you are Merval and Brill, please buy another kilo of truffles.

*Beeep*

Lame i know
Thanks to Cat Moon & Raineesun for helping me do this XD
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby GibbousCloud » Wed May 26, 2010 10:23 pm

ILiveForTheDay wrote:YESSS! Right at the bottom I found it! (check out Youtube link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxkM3YTWu9s )
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask some to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 & 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we kow who you are and we know what you want, just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be diverted to the mothership
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you have a nervous disorder, please figet with the hash key until the beep
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press...No one will answer!


Artemis would press 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 -- repeatedly. XD

Spiro:
"Hello, ths is Jon Spiro's cell -- wait, if this is Arno --! DO YOU HAVE MY BAIL YET, TOOTHY?!? *long pause* Oh, crimany, this is a Phonetix answering machine, isn't it?" *BEEP*
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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby ILiveForTheDay » Thu May 27, 2010 7:39 pm

GibbousCloud wrote:
ILiveForTheDay wrote:YESSS! Right at the bottom I found it! (check out Youtube link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxkM3YTWu9s )
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask some to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 & 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we kow who you are and we know what you want, just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be diverted to the mothership
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you have a nervous disorder, please figet with the hash key until the beep
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press...No one will answer!


Artemis would press 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 -- repeatedly. XD

Spiro:
"Hello, ths is Jon Spiro's cell -- wait, if this is Arno --! DO YOU HAVE MY BAIL YET, TOOTHY?!? *long pause* Oh, crimany, this is a Phonetix answering machine, isn't it?" *BEEP*


Ha I posted that ages ago, before I even knew about the plotline of the book. Coincidence huh?
☺ ☻ ♥ ♠ ♣ ♦ • ◘ ♫ ☼ ☺ ♪ ♀ ◄ ↕ ‼ ► ↑ ↓ → § ← ∟ ↔ ▼ ▲ ! " £ $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + ¿

Grady: 'Cuz everytime you try to do something nice for us we end up sad
Nico: Or injured
Grady: Or in Mexico. . .

***
It's ALIVE.

☺ ☻ ♥ ♠ ♣ ♦ • ◘ ♫ ☼ ☺ ♪ ♀ ◄ ↕ ‼ ► ↑ ↓ → § ← ∟ ↔ ▼ ▲ ! " £ $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + ¿

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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby Mere Reflection » Thu May 27, 2010 10:57 pm

Opal Koboi (I'm hoping this one wil be better than my last hahaha)
Why are you ringing me, you inferior being? Go away and don't leave a message; listening to them is bad for my ears. beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Fowl Manor:
Artemis: You have reached Fowl manor. Evidently we are not-
Beckett:Artemis SIMPLETOON!
Myles: Beckett simpletoon!
Artemis: Myles, how many times do I have to tell you, don't call your brother simpl-
Becket and Myles: ARTEMIS SIMPLETOON!
beep

Oh wow that was almost as bad as my first and seriously OOC! :(
Thanks to Cat Moon & Raineesun for helping me do this XD
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Evening news is where they begin with 'good evening' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Always remember you are utterly unique. Just like everyone else.
Why are you still reading this?
Nothing is impossible, yet everything is a lie. Fishies! :D
A/H forever

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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby FoalysGirl » Wed Jun 16, 2010 7:06 pm

This is a new one for Juliet Butler:

Like hi, you've reached the Jade Princess aka Juliet Butler. *Bubble pop* If you're a fan or a family member please leave a message after the beep. BEEP
"Edwin, what's the plural for Ox?"
"Oxen. The farmer used his oxen."
"Brian,"
"What?"
"What's the plural for box?"
"Boxen! I bought two boxen of doughnuts."

---Brain's stupid in school comedy skit

"I'm the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude." ----Tropic Thunder

"Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock." ------ Buffy season 6

"He was like....Napoleon!" ---Me

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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby Mere Reflection » Sun Jun 20, 2010 6:29 am

Opal:
Merval: You have reached the phone connection of the fabulously brilliant mastermind named Opal. *Sigh* If you wish for her excellency to leave a message please talk after the beep. Hopefully her beauty and everlasting wonderfullness will answer- who am I kidding, that's my job. D'Arvit, just leave a stinking message *BEEP*

Holly:
Well, obviously I'm not here so keep trying to ring. Unless you are too lazy to do even that and just decide to leave a message thats fine with me. It had better not be you Artemis- every time I get a phonecall from you its bad news. *BEEP*

Chix:
Why hello, ladies. You've reached Chix. Leave a message after the tone and I'll get back to you all right. *BEEP*
Thanks to Cat Moon & Raineesun for helping me do this XD
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Evening news is where they begin with 'good evening' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Always remember you are utterly unique. Just like everyone else.
Why are you still reading this?
Nothing is impossible, yet everything is a lie. Fishies! :D
A/H forever

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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby ILiveForTheDay » Sun Jun 20, 2010 11:45 am

Those one's were good :laughing:

Chix: He's awesome, he's good lookin', he has a great bod . . .yes, you've reached Chix Verbil's answering machine!

Mulch: I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
☺ ☻ ♥ ♠ ♣ ♦ • ◘ ♫ ☼ ☺ ♪ ♀ ◄ ↕ ‼ ► ↑ ↓ → § ← ∟ ↔ ▼ ▲ ! " £ $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + ¿

Grady: 'Cuz everytime you try to do something nice for us we end up sad
Nico: Or injured
Grady: Or in Mexico. . .

***
It's ALIVE.

☺ ☻ ♥ ♠ ♣ ♦ • ◘ ♫ ☼ ☺ ♪ ♀ ◄ ↕ ‼ ► ↑ ↓ → § ← ∟ ↔ ▼ ▲ ! " £ $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + ¿

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Re: Answering Machines for the Characters

Postby FoalysGirl » Wed Jun 30, 2010 1:18 am

Julius Root: This is Julius Root. I'm not at the darn phone so leave a message. And, if I catch the officer who spread the rumor around that I smiled they're in for a mouthful you little...BEEP!
"Edwin, what's the plural for Ox?"
"Oxen. The farmer used his oxen."
"Brian,"
"What?"
"What's the plural for box?"
"Boxen! I bought two boxen of doughnuts."

---Brain's stupid in school comedy skit

"I'm the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude." ----Tropic Thunder

"Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock." ------ Buffy season 6

"He was like....Napoleon!" ---Me


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