Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Athena32 » Sat Sep 26, 2015 11:50 pm

The way this game works is you have to answer the question "Why did the chicken cross the road?" from the perspective of any Artemis Fowl character. The answer should probably include the person saying it, to avoid mix ups. I'll go first:

Grub: Mommy said you were supposed to protect me from creepy chickens crossing roads!
Trouble: I DON'T CARE WHAT MOMMY SAID!!! (And shut up about the tunic. And the ironing. You're only here because I requested you. Got it?)

That wasn't a hilarious example, but you guys get the point. (I really hope you got the reference there.)
I'm fine, seeing as you asked.-Foaly
Gnommish… Gnommish… What blasted translation system doesn’t have Gnommish?

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby FadingLight » Sun Sep 27, 2015 10:32 pm

Foaly: Can someone grab me the chicken so I can attach a tracker to it? Anyone?
No one?
I am so unappreciated.
Root: I don't care why the darn chicken is crossing roads, Donkey Boy! Go ask LEPtraffic and leave me alone, or I'll slash your budget!
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Athena32 » Tue Sep 29, 2015 3:09 am

Ah, the unappreciated genius.
Holly: I must protect the (chicken) People! (rescues chicken in a ridiculously heroic manner)
I'm fine, seeing as you asked.-Foaly
Gnommish… Gnommish… What blasted translation system doesn’t have Gnommish?

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Rocket Axxonu » Tue Sep 29, 2015 7:28 am

Lol. XD! (I love this topic.)

Artemis (age 12): Clearly the chicken is in possession of something of value, and wants to protect itself from the possibility of losing the item to unsavory characters. Unfortunately for said chicken, if one has already anticipated its paltry attempts at escape, then likely someone (ie, Butler) has already been stationed on the other side of the crossing to catch it unawares.
“After all, absolutely no one can help but suspect a criminal, liar, and manipulator of committing crimes, lying, and manipulating. And of course, no one is more aware of that simple fact than Artemis Fowl.”

Opal sets into motion her most diabolical scheme yet, to frame Artemis and turn his closest friends against him. Only this time she has a new calculating partner who knows Artemis better than he knows himself. [An Artemis Fowl fanfiction, set after The Atlantic Complex.]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8336552/1/Noble-Heart ...Shameless self-advertising, guys! C;

(And if you're really bored: http://axxonu.deviantart.com/gallery/28 ... temis-Fowl AF fanart. ;J)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Tue Sep 29, 2015 5:20 pm

Orion: The chicken is a spirit animal. Crossing the road is a negative omen for future events. You shouldn't go down the same road.
Right now's avatar-Clownpiece

(Clownpiece will make America great again, by the way.)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Rocket Axxonu » Tue Sep 29, 2015 7:43 pm

Minerva: Well, clearly the question is an example of what one might call anti-humor. The majority of jokes involve a clever punchline of some kind, a play on words, so the obvious answer of To get to the other side, which might otherwise have no other comedic value in and of itself, generates a laugh by simply defying the norm of joke telling. However, this particular joke has been so overused as to become trite and cliché. To be perfectly honest, I didn't find it particularly funny the first time I heard it; it's very simplistic, cheap humor, that requires absolutely no knowledge of psychology or quantum physics.

Artemis: Thank you, I couldn't have explained it better myself.

Holly: ...Somebody shoot me. Hey, Butler? I think now would be a good time to have that talk about jokes.
“After all, absolutely no one can help but suspect a criminal, liar, and manipulator of committing crimes, lying, and manipulating. And of course, no one is more aware of that simple fact than Artemis Fowl.”

Opal sets into motion her most diabolical scheme yet, to frame Artemis and turn his closest friends against him. Only this time she has a new calculating partner who knows Artemis better than he knows himself. [An Artemis Fowl fanfiction, set after The Atlantic Complex.]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8336552/1/Noble-Heart ...Shameless self-advertising, guys! C;

(And if you're really bored: http://axxonu.deviantart.com/gallery/28 ... temis-Fowl AF fanart. ;J)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:10 pm

Opal: Because I am on the other side, and no creature could resist such a lure.
Right now's avatar-Clownpiece

(Clownpiece will make America great again, by the way.)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Rocket Axxonu » Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:22 pm

Butler: Don't worry, Master Artemis. I have the chicken in my scopes, in case crossing the road was only a feint, and it's really intending to double back for an attack.
“After all, absolutely no one can help but suspect a criminal, liar, and manipulator of committing crimes, lying, and manipulating. And of course, no one is more aware of that simple fact than Artemis Fowl.”

Opal sets into motion her most diabolical scheme yet, to frame Artemis and turn his closest friends against him. Only this time she has a new calculating partner who knows Artemis better than he knows himself. [An Artemis Fowl fanfiction, set after The Atlantic Complex.]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8336552/1/Noble-Heart ...Shameless self-advertising, guys! C;

(And if you're really bored: http://axxonu.deviantart.com/gallery/28 ... temis-Fowl AF fanart. ;J)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:24 pm

Mulch: Chicken? Where?! I'm hungry!
Right now's avatar-Clownpiece

(Clownpiece will make America great again, by the way.)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Rocket Axxonu » Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:27 pm

Damon Kronski: Useful creatures, chickens. Taste mighty good in a roast. But whatever you do, don't let chickens get ideas about crossing roads, that will ruin them. They've got to stay right in their pens, where they belong, and are useful to their human masters.
“After all, absolutely no one can help but suspect a criminal, liar, and manipulator of committing crimes, lying, and manipulating. And of course, no one is more aware of that simple fact than Artemis Fowl.”

Opal sets into motion her most diabolical scheme yet, to frame Artemis and turn his closest friends against him. Only this time she has a new calculating partner who knows Artemis better than he knows himself. [An Artemis Fowl fanfiction, set after The Atlantic Complex.]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8336552/1/Noble-Heart ...Shameless self-advertising, guys! C;

(And if you're really bored: http://axxonu.deviantart.com/gallery/28 ... temis-Fowl AF fanart. ;J)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Tue Sep 29, 2015 9:38 pm

Holly: I swear, of all the stupid jokes you could have asked me, you chose that one?
Right now's avatar-Clownpiece

(Clownpiece will make America great again, by the way.)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Rocket Axxonu » Tue Sep 29, 2015 10:23 pm

Madame Ko: You must consider the scenario from all angles. Observation is key. Is the chicken moving simply because it is feeling threatened by its surroundings? Is it a possible hostile? Or, as is most likely, is it merely a distraction to turn a bodyguard's attention away from the real danger? Do not take anything for granted. Even if the chicken is not directly involved, you must use all necessary force if your Principal may be under threat.
“After all, absolutely no one can help but suspect a criminal, liar, and manipulator of committing crimes, lying, and manipulating. And of course, no one is more aware of that simple fact than Artemis Fowl.”

Opal sets into motion her most diabolical scheme yet, to frame Artemis and turn his closest friends against him. Only this time she has a new calculating partner who knows Artemis better than he knows himself. [An Artemis Fowl fanfiction, set after The Atlantic Complex.]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8336552/1/Noble-Heart ...Shameless self-advertising, guys! C;

(And if you're really bored: http://axxonu.deviantart.com/gallery/28 ... temis-Fowl AF fanart. ;J)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Wed Sep 30, 2015 2:03 pm

Spiro: It's a chicken-eat-chicken world out there, if the bird were smart, he'd be going to spy on another farm, or possibly sabotaging the operation. Successful chickens do anything to stay ahead of the competition.
Right now's avatar-Clownpiece

(Clownpiece will make America great again, by the way.)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby Rocket Axxonu » Wed Sep 30, 2015 4:15 pm

No1: Chicken. Pullet, poultry, fowl. Or hen or cock. Is this a boy chicken or a girl chicken we're talking about? I really hate to use the word it, I mean a chicken has feelings, too.

Qwan: *sighs* It's a theoretical question, young one. Just answer it.

No1: Well, if I were her, I'd probably be trying to get away from Leon Abbot, or Basset, or some other bully. But I'd prefer to think that she's going to meet her little chicks, which have just gotten out of school. I just love that little cheeping sound baby chicks make.

Qwan: *sighs again* I suppose that will have to do for now.
“After all, absolutely no one can help but suspect a criminal, liar, and manipulator of committing crimes, lying, and manipulating. And of course, no one is more aware of that simple fact than Artemis Fowl.”

Opal sets into motion her most diabolical scheme yet, to frame Artemis and turn his closest friends against him. Only this time she has a new calculating partner who knows Artemis better than he knows himself. [An Artemis Fowl fanfiction, set after The Atlantic Complex.]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8336552/1/Noble-Heart ...Shameless self-advertising, guys! C;

(And if you're really bored: http://axxonu.deviantart.com/gallery/28 ... temis-Fowl AF fanart. ;J)

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? (AF style)

Postby FadingLight » Sun Oct 04, 2015 11:23 pm

Opal: Merv. Scant. Go and run over the chicken. Preferably with a large, heavy vehicle. It's staring at me, and that's very bad for my skin.

Mulch: *grabs spork and knife and runs into traffic* Hey, does anyone have ketchup?

Abbot the Guinea Pig: Squeak! *waves tiny sword*

Beckett: *runs after the chicken waving underpants*
Myles: I think the chicken's motives in this situation are quite obvious. *glances at Beckett*

Berserker: It is attempting to cross this "road' because I have possessed its puny body in search of Mud Men to kill!
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short


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