Strange quotes from your day/week/month/year/life

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Hoonah*
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Strange quotes from your day/week/month/year/life

Postby Hoonah* » Tue May 02, 2006 11:56 pm

We all say some pretty strange things in our life...especially people like us! Post it here! You do not have to provide an explanation of why you said it...it is much more mind boggling to others if they cannot figure out why the heck you said it and have to ask!

Here is one from Monday at art class:

"Addison, you had better watch out. Pickles wants to eat you."
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Postby Gus » Tue May 02, 2006 11:59 pm

I guess that it'd be even more crazy if we took out the context it was said in...

From today, when a science teacher accused me of attacking another student when I was supposed to fight with words. (Modified slightly to work in this context and to change my real name to my username.)

"I didn't attack him. I just called him a rank-smelling foul-stenched hovel-post."
"Gus, I meant biology words."
"In that case, he's got 48 chromosomes."
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Postby Hoonah* » Wed May 03, 2006 12:06 am

Bwahahahaha!!! That one is good! Gus...you are so good at coming up with stuff like that! Your "Underlying detail in an overall large scheme to dominate the world" has become part of my weekly vocabulary...just so you know!

Hmmm...lemme think of another. Lots will be from art...because we can come up with some of the craziest stuff there.

"Maybe we could Spring Fling her over the fence. Oh wait...there is no ball pitt on the other side. Wood chips would not be very comfortable to land on..."
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Postby Juliet » Wed May 03, 2006 12:12 am

Becky - "Haha, the Rolling Stones are a rock band!"
Me - *Bursts out laughing*

I couldn't repeat that to anyone that day ._.
I cracked up everytime I tried.

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Postby Chitiliti » Wed May 03, 2006 12:12 am

Ha ha ha... some of the things that are said in Homeschool Drama class. I can't remember it all... but here is something funny.

"And, the costumes department has very wisely spent their time and has come up with this list.
The bucket does not say meat.
Rachel's cat is old.
Buckets make good hats.
We need costumes for the play."

And also the famous lines.
"Cat, get my wrench!"
"Oh my gosh... he looks like Ashley Simpson!"
"It's my stick."
"Knee socks will protect your...knees...from spilt milk."

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Postby Gus » Wed May 03, 2006 12:39 am

The "rank-smelling foul-stenched hovel-post" was a Shakespearean insult, so I can't claim credit for that. But I'll claim credit for the 48 chromosomes one. (Humans have 46 chromosomes, monkeys have 48).
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Postby Hoonah* » Wed May 03, 2006 12:41 am

Yeah...I know. I have been doing Biology...grrrrr... Razz

I have to think of one...
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<><Jesus><>,

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Encase all of your pocket change in Lime Green Jell-O

Dominate the world with an army of mini robotic decorative knights constructed of melted tin foil, armed with curling ribbon

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Postby Mockingbirdflyaway » Wed May 03, 2006 1:02 am

Mr. LaPlante "Andy! Tenor's don't play one beat one!"
Andy: "Oh... sorry... I thought we were playing Lullaby of Birdland"
LaPlante: "....You don't play on beat one there either!"

LaPlante: "You're killing me trumpets!"

Mia: Kendra says Mr. LaPlante got laid last night
Me: How would she know tha-
*Mr. LaPlante strides into the room, whistling jauntily and practically skipping*
Me: Oh....

LaPlante (usually once per class): What the hell was THAT?!

... Good times in Jazz Band anyways... Wink

Elaine: "What?! I thought Scotland was in Saskatchewan!"
Harry: "I'm goint to hurt you one day you moron. Seriously. I swear..."
Last edited by Mockingbirdflyaway on Fri Sep 29, 2006 3:23 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Gus » Wed May 03, 2006 1:09 am

Music teacher talking to the audience: "Please give us a few seconds to blow a few notes so we can determine whether we are using the right end of the instrument or not."

Geography teacher: This rock is very dense and very heavy. *sets it down on desk*
Student: Hey, you just crushed my pencil sharpener!
Teacher: Well, that's too bad!

Geography teacher: *tapping PA system with meter stick* Hello? ... Hellooooo.....? Heeeeelllllloooooo.....?
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Postby Frost » Wed May 03, 2006 1:28 am

My history teacher t alking about a field trip and food allergies: "And we have to be careful with our nuts."

(Me and my brother, Kevin. True story)

Me: hey Kevin, I heard you listening to my music last night.
Kevin: No I wasn't.
Me: yeah, you were listening to KISS 108.
Kevin: No I wasn't
Me: Then what were you listening to?
Kevin: 107.9
Me: . . . . . . same thing.
Kevin: It is?!


(Another funny story with my brother)

*me and my mom arguing about who sits where in the car*
Me: I don't want to sit there, I'll hit my head on the table!
Mom: No you won't, you're short enough.
Me: Yes I will!
*Kevin comes over*
Mom: Alright, Kevin will sit there. He won't hit his head.
Me: Yeah. He won't.
Kevin: Yeah, I won't.
*Jumps in and hits his head*
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Postby Voldy » Wed May 03, 2006 2:35 am

Wow, these are really funny.

If you were to spend a single day in my class, you'd catch snippets of very weird quotes...It is really hilarious.

"Oh my God! Your mom is mustard!"

Last year:
Teacher: "Please stop with the scissors."
Me: "It's a foot."

There are soooo many others...I'll post more when they pop into my head.

Oh, here's one:

Chris: "My mom washes her bras in the kitchen sink."
Someone else: "She washes your bras?"
Chris: "No, she doesn't wash my bras, she washes her own."
Me: "Are you implying that...you wear bras?"

Edit: Oh my God, I just remembered one of the funniest things that happened after school. It's a bit obscene, for any younger AFC-ers. So reader discretion is advised. Razz
Some little kid was handing out doughnuts on a table, and me and a couple of friends were just doing our homework there. Then, a teacher came and wanted to get one. She wanted to find out what one of the doughnuts had inside. She's like: "Oh, there's a hole." She started squeezing the doughnut, and then she's like: "Oh, wait, something's coming out. It's apple. Well, I touched it already, I might as well take it." We were having great difficulty suppressing our laughs. We simply turned our heads the other way and cracked up.

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Postby Diana » Wed May 03, 2006 3:30 am

In my English class on LotR -

Random girl in my English class, discussing what she wrote her paper on: "Wow, so we were reading about Tolkien & Lewis and how they sort of fell out, and I was just thinking, I've already read this! And then I realized, oh, this totally reminds me of these two black metal guys, and they got into a disagreement over something - no one ever really figured out what it was - anyway, they got really angry, and the first guy ended up stabbing the second guy in the head... He's serving a life sentence."
Prof: "So... How, exactly, does this relate to Lewis and Tolkien?"
Random Girl: "Well, it's basically the same thing, except without the stabbing."
Class: *tries and fails to repress laughter*
Prof: *tries to keep a smile on face, still looking incredulous*
Prof's thoughts: "This girl is absolutely insane... I must be careful not to stand too close to her. And she will be getting an F."
Me: *nudges friend and snorts*

Me and a few friends -

Lucy: "Hey, this works out perfectly! So if we pretend that the campus center is Gondor, then the equestrian center is in the exact spot to be Rohan!"
Me: "And look, there's the Pink Tree of Gondor to prove that our map is correct!"

In Latin class -

Dania: "So 'ilia' means..." *consults vocab list* "Wow, this gives a whole new meaning to the Iliad."
Me: "Oh, God. I did not need to know that."
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Postby J_Butler » Wed May 03, 2006 5:21 am

the funniest quote I've ever made is actually in my book, but a lot farther on than the edited version I put in the 'Inklings' section.

archer: "you couldn't hit the broad side of a castle!"
KJ: "maybe, but I could probably hit your broad side with a castle."

*note: KJ is a giant.
it doesn't make sense out of context though.

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Postby nindra » Wed May 03, 2006 5:30 am

In Swedish class:
One boy from my class to teacher (well, he has a lot of more or less funny quotes Razz): "If I don't know the right answer, do you accept the wrong one?"

And same boy in English class (we were talking about a picture of dog which is in our English workbook): "Absolutely ugly is beatiful"
æ

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Postby Mockingbirdflyaway » Wed May 03, 2006 6:03 am

(Slightly R rated) Jennie: "... and then Sora will bang Alara and then they'll have Gesi, and Sora will bang her and then they'll have the metrosexual transvestite Jacky who enjoys BDSM!"
Me: Shocked WHAT?! Did I just drop in to this conversation at the wrong time?!
Alex: I don't think there was ever a right time...


*boy who I've had a crush on for the last few months walks by wearing a leather jacket*
Me (Head swiveling to follow his progress in the opposite direction): So and then we did - hot damn he is fine - SMACK *walks into wall*
Alex: Janna, what just happened there?
~Janna


Writing is like marriage - don't commit yourself until you can't believe your luck.


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