@Athena You ignored evilopal's wish. I will grant hers and chukaliteluvver's. (Does this mean I get two wishes?)
evilopal, you have the paper, but you're brain-dead so you can't think of any way to answer them.
chukalitluvver, you do die, but then you realize there was some really nice guy who really really liked you and felt really sorry for you after your boyfriend left you. And after you died, he mourned you so much he commits suicide and you can't ever see him.
I wish I could play video games better.