The AF Vending Machine

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FadingLight
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby FadingLight » Sun May 24, 2015 11:21 pm

Artemis has no idea who Alice Margatroid is… and if I told you why I'd be breaking the fourth wall. So he turns to his saviour… the Internet.

Actually, I don't know who Alice Margatroid is. Sorry.

*inserts the 39 clues*
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short

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Fatebringer the 2nd
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Mon May 25, 2015 3:47 pm

Myles reads them all, and then immediately writes a series of heated letters to every author detailing plotholes that no other person would ever even consider

*inserts a portal to another dimension*
Right now's avatar-Clownpiece

(Clownpiece will make America great again, by the way.)

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FadingLight
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby FadingLight » Mon May 25, 2015 11:12 pm

A survey is conducted on which dimension people think the portal leads to. Beckett babbles something about a "Nether". Artemis tells him that all those silly little games are rotting his brain, then answers Limbo, causing No. 1 to shudder and Holly to tell him to stop reliving all those near-death experiences, please. Foaly puts on his tinfoil hat. This event is completely unrelated.

*inserts a mysterious blocky world*
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short

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Fatebringer the 2nd
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Tue May 26, 2015 3:56 pm

Beckett heatedly yells at Artemis "I told you so!"

*inserts a mysterious, gelatinous, blue and red egg*
Right now's avatar-Clownpiece

(Clownpiece will make America great again, by the way.)

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FadingLight
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby FadingLight » Thu May 28, 2015 3:35 am

It's taken to Haven, where an army of top-notch scientists study it for hours. Then days. Then weeks. They come up with nothing. Their dilemma is finally solved when Beckett somehow wanders into the lab, points to the egg, and yells "Pokemon!" Then he stuffs something into his mouth and falls asleep. Lol and behold, he's given them a vital hint! Their problem is no more after a simple Google search.

*inserts a perfectly ordinary (no, really) ballpoint pen*
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short

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Fatebringer the 2nd
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Thu May 28, 2015 4:00 pm

Everyone continues uncappng it over and over, attempting to get it to transform into a sword, like Beckett says it will. It never does.


*inserts a holly stick, 11 inches long, and with a strange feather at it's core*
Right now's avatar-Clownpiece

(Clownpiece will make America great again, by the way.)

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FadingLight
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby FadingLight » Sun May 31, 2015 11:12 pm

After consulting Beckett, who has been appointed as the head of the Pop Culture Department, the Haven scientists conclude that they do not want to get on the owner of the twig's bad side. The right and honourable thing to do is to attempt to return the strange wand to its rightful bearer.

Then, they proceed to shut it up in a safe. Because let's face it, nothing bad is going to happen unless the fourth wall is irreparably breached.

On another note, Artemis is rather impressed his younger brother is already taking on books of doorstopping size.

*inserts a jay-like bird with white patches on its wings and a cracking fourth wall*
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short

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Athena32
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby Athena32 » Fri Oct 30, 2015 10:51 pm

Holly almost picks the bird up to take it to LEPcustoms, but realizes that she has some very urgent procrastinating to do.

Inserts a set of acrylic paints, an easle, and a french looking hat.
I'm fine, seeing as you asked.-Foaly
Gnommish… Gnommish… What blasted translation system doesn’t have Gnommish?

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FadingLight
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby FadingLight » Wed Nov 18, 2015 4:22 am

In preparation for his next big theft, Artemis travels to France, dons the hat, sets the easel in front of a particularly magnificent museum, and begins to paint. He then distracts passerby by loudly proclaiming several odd things in several distinct languages and spilling all his acrylic paints on a passing man in a very clean and expensive suit. No one notices a short smelly "man" diving into a nearby manhole.

*inserts a fancy painting*
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short

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Athena32
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby Athena32 » Fri Nov 20, 2015 2:29 am

Angeline brings it home and hangs it on the wall in the laundry room. Mulch steals it and places it in his cache beneath Fowl manor, while Artemis moans about how you can't store art in a mud and spit cave. Mulch then eats something.

Inserts something Mulch almost ate that squeaks and runs away.
I'm fine, seeing as you asked.-Foaly
Gnommish… Gnommish… What blasted translation system doesn’t have Gnommish?

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FadingLight
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby FadingLight » Thu Nov 26, 2015 3:24 am

Beckett finds it and nibbles on its leg.

*inserts several hamsters and a few white lab rats*
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short

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Fatebringer the 2nd
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby Fatebringer the 2nd » Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:38 pm

Mulch eats them all

*inserts a human soul*
Right now's avatar-Clownpiece

(Clownpiece will make America great again, by the way.)

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FadingLight
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby FadingLight » Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:04 pm

Some fairies find it and place it within the body of a chicken because they have no idea what else to do.

*inserts highway*
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short

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Troublelover16
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby Troublelover16 » Wed Jul 20, 2016 6:51 pm

Artemis and Holly get Butler to drive them to a fancy restaurant which is on said highway.

*inserts a lot of gold*
Image

Troublelover's Song of the Moment: ~Sad Song-We The Kings~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZsXcc_tC-o&index=174

Spoiler:

You and I,
We're like fireworks
And symphonies exploding in the sky
With you, I'm alive
Like all the missing pieces of my heart,
They finally collide

So stop time right here in the moonlight
'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes

Without you, I feel broke
Like I'm half of a whole
Without you, I've got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I'm just a sad song

I'm just a sad song

2013 EA Winner of: The Friendly One, Best Taste in Avatars and Signatures,
Biggest AF Fanboy/Girl, Most Valued Non-Staff Contributor, Most Changed

2014/15 EA Winner of: Biggest Non-AF Fanboy/Girl

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FadingLight
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Re: The AF Vending Machine

Postby FadingLight » Wed Aug 31, 2016 8:46 pm

It is promptly stolen appropriated for personal use responsibly confiscated.

*inserts locked safe*
I said you were smart, Mud Boy. I was wrong; are exceptional.—Qwan
Which do you think seems more suspicious? An alien-looking craft hovering in the yard of a country home, or a floating doorway with a centaur standing in it?—Domovoi Butler
We can only change the future, not the past or present.—Artemis Fowl II
I'm trying to care, Artemis. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over.—Holly Short


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