Should you care what others think?

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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby bentj96 » Sun Feb 06, 2011 8:24 pm

opalkoboi wrote:You realise I was useing that terminology to make my opinion easier to explain along with being metaphorical, right?
And the people I laybel as fakers do go out of their way to be something different, which I find horribly upsetting,

Also, is it right to call someone a freak because they don't fit in? Because of who they are? In year 6, I think, some girl asked me "DOn't you want to be popular?" And I said "NO, I'm not like that." And d'you know what she said? "Oh my God you weirdo. Why don't you want to fit in? If you don't others'll just make fun of you."
I just replied, "I don't care," and walked away.

Anyway, to put it simply, my opinion is that everyone should be themselves regradless of what others think. Therefore, it does not matter what others think as long as your happy.


So drug addict can walk into a school and not care? You obviously have care to some degree. Caring too little is being ignorant. On the other hand, caring too much is bad. You should care about the things that matter and at least you should be presentable and up to the standards of a regular teacher.
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby opalkoboi » Sun Feb 06, 2011 8:29 pm

I'm not saying don't care AT ALL, because if you didn't care AT ALL then you'd go around insulting people, wouldn't you? But I don't feel it's too important because if you're happy why should you change for anyone else?
Also, a drug adict isn't the best example, because you don't take drugs because you don't care. Maybe if you wanted to...I dunno...*thinks hard* ...Well, I can't think of a real life situation (sorry), but yeah as long as your happy don't change for others. : )
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby bentj96 » Sun Feb 06, 2011 9:05 pm

opalkoboi wrote:I'm not saying don't care AT ALL, because if you didn't care AT ALL then you'd go around insulting people, wouldn't you? But I don't feel it's too important because if you're happy why should you change for anyone else?
Also, a drug adict isn't the best example, because you don't take drugs because you don't care. Maybe if you wanted to...I dunno...*thinks hard* ...Well, I can't think of a real life situation (sorry), but yeah as long as your happy don't change for others. : )


Well, the point is that a drug addict would probably walk into school either stoned or crashed. It's unlikely they will dress will, smell good at all or do well in school.

You should change for other people when people are asking you to change for something more important. For example, if you had an odd name, you shouldn't change it. No one should ever care about what others think if it's something petty like that.
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby opalkoboi » Sun Feb 06, 2011 9:11 pm

If it's something important like smoking, definatly important I guess. But you should never change who you are.

Also, I thought of an example. If you're smoking in a kid's park with children near you, you should put it out instead of not caring about them.
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby Kitsy » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:39 pm

But some people would say that smoking is part of who they are, a way they socialise and pass the time. Who are you to judge what's acceptable to change and what's not?
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby opalkoboi » Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:47 pm

Kitsy wrote:But some people would say that smoking is part of who they are, a way they socialise and pass the time. Who are you to judge what's acceptable to change and what's not?


Well if you smoke, and your family tell you they don't like it and they are concerned for your health, I think it would be (almost) apropreate to stop.
I suppose you could say it was part of who you are, but smoking is a habit, not a personality trait as such. Yet, to put this into my life so I can understand it, if someone told me to stop studying for fun I wouldn't and that's a habit. Hm. It's a difficult thing to decide what's right and wrong. It probably depends on the circumstance and the person. However, generally I think it's not right to change yourself for someone else.

Um, I wasn't deciding what's acceptible to change and what's not, I was voicing my opinion on a thread that asked me to do so.
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby bentj96 » Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:09 am

Kitsy wrote:But some people would say that smoking is part of who they are, a way they socialise and pass the time. Who are you to judge what's acceptable to change and what's not?


The point is that the smoker should try not to affect innocent children with their presence.
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby Purple_Enigma » Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:20 pm

And Heiki I have to disagree about not change yourselves for your friends. I mean, I haven't changed myself, just adjusted, and tweaked my character a bit. One of my friends can be really cutting when she's is a bad mood. But if I'm in a good mood, I consider and I let it go. If a non-friend talked to me that way I'd fire right back. But it's her, and I know her and that she's having a bad day or is in a bad mood so I change. Just for a minute. Because I do care. I care what she thinks about me. I care what all my friends think about me. If they tell me I'm changing, or becoming to wannabe or something like that someday, I'll consider. Because that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to listen to what people around you tell you. To an extent. It should be someone you respect and who you care about.
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'I must go,Butler,' said Artemis firmly.'My mind is eating me alive.I think the guilt is the main problem.I must do whatever I can to atone.'
'And?' said Butler,unconvinced.
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'Jackass?'said Foaly,wounded.‘My favourite uncle is a jackass.'


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If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.
The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby opalkoboi » Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:00 pm

Purple_Enigma wrote:And Heiki I have to disagree about not change yourselves for your friends. I mean, I haven't changed myself, just adjusted, and tweaked my character a bit. One of my friends can be really cutting when she's is a bad mood. But if I'm in a good mood, I consider and I let it go. If a non-friend talked to me that way I'd fire right back. But it's her, and I know her and that she's having a bad day or is in a bad mood so I change. Just for a minute. Because I do care. I care what she thinks about me. I care what all my friends think about me. If they tell me I'm changing, or becoming to wannabe or something like that someday, I'll consider. Because that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to listen to what people around you tell you. To an extent. It should be someone you respect and who you care about.


That's a different situation intirly. If you know your friend is just in a bad mood, you understand she doesn't mean it and won't have a go.

However, changing something you like or your opinions for others, I think, is wrong.
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby Purple_Enigma » Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:04 am

I agree it is wrong, but how can you decide what is right or wrong on your own? Especially teenagers, with their I don't give a (insert any swear here) attitude would never bother considering what a teacher tells them. Okay,a teacher is different and you might argue saying teachers are nearly always right or something so you should listen, but friends? I was talking to one of my friends and he even admitted to me that he drinks only because of peer pressure. I told him not to, but he won't listen. Probably because my principles never got me anywhere in the popularity department. But I'm still friends with a lot of popular people and you have to admit they're principles are a bit like what you've said above. They don't care, they won't change their opinions or values because of what a teacher says or what any non-popular student says. And generally popular people have the same set of morals. Don't care what others think. Be your own person. So even if they advise others it's not going to be for their benefit. They apply this SO wrongly so I think this concept has a few holes in it. They don't know who they want to be. They know what they want to be- popular. Instead of being who they want to be, they try to be what they want to be and eventually that's who they become. I can't find a trace of my old friends in some of the popular people currently, so I stay away from them. Because they changed themselves completely which is WRONG, but now they refuse to change themselves saying they have a right to be who they want to be.
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Spoiler:
'I must go,Butler,' said Artemis firmly.'My mind is eating me alive.I think the guilt is the main problem.I must do whatever I can to atone.'
'And?' said Butler,unconvinced.
Artemis held his arms out so that Foaly could drape the suit sleeves over them.
'And I will not be beaten by that jackass.'
'Jackass?'said Foaly,wounded.‘My favourite uncle is a jackass.'


From here
Spoiler:
If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.
The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."
I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwarts' smartest student is in another house.
I will not conjure up lemons and say-Life hath given thou LEMONS!

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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby opalkoboi » Wed Feb 09, 2011 5:34 pm

Purple_Enigma wrote:I agree it is wrong, but how can you decide what is right or wrong on your own? Especially teenagers, with their I don't give a (insert any swear here) attitude would never bother considering what a teacher tells them. Okay,a teacher is different and you might argue saying teachers are nearly always right or something so you should listen, but friends? I was talking to one of my friends and he even admitted to me that he drinks only because of peer pressure. I told him not to, but he won't listen. Probably because my principles never got me anywhere in the popularity department. But I'm still friends with a lot of popular people and you have to admit they're principles are a bit like what you've said above. They don't care, they won't change their opinions or values because of what a teacher says or what any non-popular student says. And generally popular people have the same set of morals. Don't care what others think. Be your own person. So even if they advise others it's not going to be for their benefit. They apply this SO wrongly so I think this concept has a few holes in it. They don't know who they want to be. They know what they want to be- popular. Instead of being who they want to be, they try to be what they want to be and eventually that's who they become. I can't find a trace of my old friends in some of the popular people currently, so I stay away from them. Because they changed themselves completely which is WRONG, but now they refuse to change themselves saying they have a right to be who they want to be.


That's what really upsets me. When people comform to peer pressure. It's so sad, I could cry. They have the right to, but it's still wrong to change yourself. However, all this stupid teen culture with "popular" (gimme a break :eyeroll: ) kids has made life in High Schools horrible for some. I wish so badly others wouldn't change themselves. They hate themselves and think what they believe and do is wrong, so change. It's awful. Sadly, there is nothing anyone can do about it.
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby Mere Reflection » Sun Feb 13, 2011 2:14 am

opalkoboi wrote:
Purple_Enigma wrote:I agree it is wrong, but how can you decide what is right or wrong on your own? Especially teenagers, with their I don't give a (insert any swear here) attitude would never bother considering what a teacher tells them. Okay,a teacher is different and you might argue saying teachers are nearly always right or something so you should listen, but friends? I was talking to one of my friends and he even admitted to me that he drinks only because of peer pressure. I told him not to, but he won't listen. Probably because my principles never got me anywhere in the popularity department. But I'm still friends with a lot of popular people and you have to admit they're principles are a bit like what you've said above. They don't care, they won't change their opinions or values because of what a teacher says or what any non-popular student says. And generally popular people have the same set of morals. Don't care what others think. Be your own person. So even if they advise others it's not going to be for their benefit. They apply this SO wrongly so I think this concept has a few holes in it. They don't know who they want to be. They know what they want to be- popular. Instead of being who they want to be, they try to be what they want to be and eventually that's who they become. I can't find a trace of my old friends in some of the popular people currently, so I stay away from them. Because they changed themselves completely which is WRONG, but now they refuse to change themselves saying they have a right to be who they want to be.


That's what really upsets me. When people comform to peer pressure. It's so sad, I could cry. They have the right to, but it's still wrong to change yourself. However, all this stupid teen culture with "popular" (gimme a break :eyeroll: ) kids has made life in High Schools horrible for some. I wish so badly others wouldn't change themselves. They hate themselves and think what they believe and do is wrong, so change. It's awful. Sadly, there is nothing anyone can do about it.
Defeatist attitude much, Heiki?

Of COURSE there is something everyone can do about it. It's just a matter of trying to make a difference, actually going out there and doing something. The problem is not CAN'T, but WON'T. :)

Peer pressure is always seen as a bad thing. Peer pressure can also be positive- peer pressure to put more effort into study, peer pressure to quit smoking, doing drugs or other bad habits.
But it's when peer pressure becomes negative that the problems start.

We all know the stories of people starving and becoming extremely sick from trying to become as "hot" as everyone else, and people cutting and suchlike because they aren't the same as everyone else. For example, every 18 minutes, someone commits suicide. And according to The Happiness Trap by Dr Rolf Harris, 1 out of every 2 people seriously consider suicide, and 1 out of every 10 people actually attempt it. A large, large amount of these victims were pushed to breaking point through what other people think of them, and what that leads them to think of themselves.

So there has to be a middle ground, in my opinion.
Yes, you should care about what others think, in order to make yourself a better individual and have friends and life companions. But it should not be to the extent that you feel worthless if you have no friends. Not the extent that you feel you could end it. I don't believe anyone should have to feel that agony.
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby Purple_Enigma » Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:50 pm

Mere Reflection wrote:
opalkoboi wrote:
Purple_Enigma wrote:I agree it is wrong, but how can you decide what is right or wrong on your own? Especially teenagers, with their I don't give a (insert any swear here) attitude would never bother considering what a teacher tells them. Okay,a teacher is different and you might argue saying teachers are nearly always right or something so you should listen, but friends? I was talking to one of my friends and he even admitted to me that he drinks only because of peer pressure. I told him not to, but he won't listen. Probably because my principles never got me anywhere in the popularity department. But I'm still friends with a lot of popular people and you have to admit they're principles are a bit like what you've said above. They don't care, they won't change their opinions or values because of what a teacher says or what any non-popular student says. And generally popular people have the same set of morals. Don't care what others think. Be your own person. So even if they advise others it's not going to be for their benefit. They apply this SO wrongly so I think this concept has a few holes in it. They don't know who they want to be. They know what they want to be- popular. Instead of being who they want to be, they try to be what they want to be and eventually that's who they become. I can't find a trace of my old friends in some of the popular people currently, so I stay away from them. Because they changed themselves completely which is WRONG, but now they refuse to change themselves saying they have a right to be who they want to be.


That's what really upsets me. When people comform to peer pressure. It's so sad, I could cry. They have the right to, but it's still wrong to change yourself. However, all this stupid teen culture with "popular" (gimme a break :eyeroll: ) kids has made life in High Schools horrible for some. I wish so badly others wouldn't change themselves. They hate themselves and think what they believe and do is wrong, so change. It's awful. Sadly, there is nothing anyone can do about it.
Defeatist attitude much, Heiki?

Of COURSE there is something everyone can do about it. It's just a matter of trying to make a difference, actually going out there and doing something. The problem is not CAN'T, but WON'T. :)

Peer pressure is always seen as a bad thing. Peer pressure can also be positive- peer pressure to put more effort into study, peer pressure to quit smoking, doing drugs or other bad habits.
But it's when peer pressure becomes negative that the problems start.

We all know the stories of people starving and becoming extremely sick from trying to become as "hot" as everyone else, and people cutting and suchlike because they aren't the same as everyone else. For example, every 18 minutes, someone commits suicide. And according to The Happiness Trap by Dr Rolf Harris, 1 out of every 2 people seriously consider suicide, and 1 out of every 10 people actually attempt it. A large, large amount of these victims were pushed to breaking point through what other people think of them, and what that leads them to think of themselves.

So there has to be a middle ground, in my opinion.
Yes, you should care about what others think, in order to make yourself a better individual and have friends and life companions. But it should not be to the extent that you feel worthless if you have no friends. Not the extent that you feel you could end it. I don't believe anyone should have to feel that agony.


I totally agree- they WON'T change, because their methods obviously get them some attention and they remain hungry for more. Positive peer pressure is totally ignored if they think, "Why should I care what he/she thinks? It's my life, I'll live it like I want to."
TAC
Spoiler:
'I must go,Butler,' said Artemis firmly.'My mind is eating me alive.I think the guilt is the main problem.I must do whatever I can to atone.'
'And?' said Butler,unconvinced.
Artemis held his arms out so that Foaly could drape the suit sleeves over them.
'And I will not be beaten by that jackass.'
'Jackass?'said Foaly,wounded.‘My favourite uncle is a jackass.'


From here
Spoiler:
If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.
The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."
I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwarts' smartest student is in another house.
I will not conjure up lemons and say-Life hath given thou LEMONS!

Image

EA 2011 - The Member who is Always in the Know :D :D

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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby opalkoboi » Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:57 pm

There isn't much possitive peer presure; I can't think of anything. If you smoke, do drugs, peer presure can't do much to stop that, even as adults. Negitive peer presure, the one we are all familar with, is horrible and causes so many bad things.
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Re: Should you care what others think?

Postby Kitsy » Sun Feb 13, 2011 2:21 pm

If you agree that negative peer pressure is so common, how can you say that positive peer pressure isn't? Surely it works both ways - if someone can be persuaded to smoke through peer pressure, then why can't they be persuaded to stop? If someone can be persuaded one way, then they can be persuaded the other.

You're taking a far too negative view. There is always "bad" and there is always "good," peer pressure. Though I think those labels are meaningless, because you can't really define where peer pressure is good or bad. Surely being peer-pressured into not smoking is just as bad as the other way round, because you're just doing it to fit in with this particular group of people.
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