I've never been very emotional about anything. In fact, I think I could say that I have almost perfect control over my emotions. Most things won't influence the way I feel about anything, and I don't remember ever being angry or even really happy. I could name every single time since I was ten years old that I felt an identifiable emotion.
Whenever people are angry or upset or whatever, I always used to sit there thinking 'if they really didn't want to be unhappy, they wouldn't be.' I mean, what's crying over somone going to do? It's not going to make anything better and it certainly isn't going to make you feel better. I've never understood other people when it comes to emotion.
That's why I want people to be happy when I'm dead. Not happy that I'm dead, but happy that I lived my life how I wanted and that I was healthy and died without regret. I want people to celebrate the life I had, rather than mourn my death.
However, I'm not so stupid as to wear yellow to someone else's funeral and smile and hand out photos and laugh about the fun times. I respect what other people think, and most people would find that very inappropriate. I'll act happy or sad to suit an occasion. I don't want to come across as some apathetic zombie - because I do think, and I do understand people. And I think I can love, too. I've reached a level of understanding and respect for certain people that I think I could classify as love.
lol, but having said that I automatically know when I'd rather do something or not. I don't have any preferences, but I know, for example, that I'd rather be posting here than doing homework, or that I'd rather read a book than watch a movie. So maybe there's some emotion behind that that I don't know about?
haha, I'm such a nutcase.
/nothing of importance
bentj96, if you 'TL;DR'd that, then in short: yeah, maybe I am pretty emotionless. It doesn't make me a bad person though (IMO). If my mother died, I don't think I'd be very sad. Not because I didn't love or respect her, but because it's just the way I am.
Last edited by Winter
on Mon May 11, 2009 3:28 am, edited 1 time in total.