Platonic love

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Platonic love

Postby evilopalrocks! » Sun May 20, 2012 10:14 am

so, do you think there could be a friendship between a guy and a girl without it turning into a romantic relationship? or do good friends always turn into a couple?
my friend and i had an argument about it, I would appreciate it if you commented and help me explain to her that friends doesn't mean couple.....
she thinks the TV shows "friends" and "the 70's show" or "the hunger games" are the proof that friend always turn into couples.
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Re: Platonic love

Postby chukaliteluvver » Sun May 20, 2012 10:26 am

That's an excessively romantic view on life...if that's true, then I'm in trouble; MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE GUYS!!! And those references are fictional. Semi-based on reality though it may seem, they are a portrayal of what people want. And most want romance. BUT THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT ALL GIRL-GUY FRIENDSHIPS TURN ROMANTIC!!!

Wow, that was the longest non-fangirl related post i've ever made...
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Re: Platonic love

Postby evilopalrocks! » Sun May 20, 2012 10:31 am

Danke shen!! (hehe, that's thankyou in german *I think*)
and my friend would like to put up another argument in her favor (I think it is a lame argument); that the only seniaro when friends don't attract to each other is when niether of them is an attractive person.

and yes, that is a stupid argument, soo... yeah, please support me on this, guys!
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Re: Platonic love

Postby chukaliteluvver » Sun May 20, 2012 10:35 am

Wait. I'm unattractive? *sobs*

Again, HOLE, even when I dun generelaisify; cos my friend (saury, me no taip name, bat u no maind, rait?) is NOT unnatractive (he has more fangirls than he knows what to do with) and I don't like him that way. (before you say it; I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL!) So, that argument is invalid.
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Re: Platonic love

Postby Purple_Enigma » Sun May 20, 2012 12:37 pm

I've been friends with a guy for 10 years now and he's like my super dorky brother to me and a reasonably hot guy to some brainless chicks in school -_- To me, yeah, he looks good and all, but from a sister's perspective :/ Another guy I've known for a year who's supposedly attractive(again, not in my opinion) is a pretty crazy guy to hang out with. I feel like his mom sometimes, though :P And he only has pretty eyes. Like a girl's :P ANOTHER guy is like my goddamned boss xD He's this total leader and most similar to me in character(except for the leadership thing). He's not attractive, I s'pose. Not to me, not to anyone I know as of now :P Another one cracks the most terrible jokes he can think of(in which he's kinda similar to me xD) and he's never had a girlfriend yet either, so I s'pose not attractive. Not to me, not to anyone. So yeah, I've been friends with all of them without crushing on a single one of them. Let alone all the guys I knew back in school who I was friends with :/
And I know some other really close pair of friends of the opposite sex who haven't dated or anything :/
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Re: Platonic love

Postby evilopalrocks! » Sun May 20, 2012 12:49 pm

chukaliteluvver wrote:Wait. I'm unattractive? *sobs*.

no, that's what she said, and yet, she also has a guy friend she doesn't have a crush on (only one.. she a crush basically on every guy she knows!)

Again, HOLE, even when I dun generelaisify; cos my friend (saury, me no taip name, bat u no maind, rait?) is NOT unnatractive (he has more fangirls than he knows what to do with) and I don't like him that way. (before you say it; I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL!) So, that argument is invalid

and about your guyfriend, yes, she refuses to agree with that possibility. she thinks that the two girls in the conversation who supported me and I are unusual, but everyone we asked agreed with us, and nobody agreed with her! except for a girl that said somthing like: umm.. *shrug*
and we've only asked girls so far, because asking a guy would be really embaressing! I mean, "right it's stupid that people think a guy and a girl can't be friends, one of them HAS to have a crush on the other?" guyfriend that totally has a crush on you: "aha... sure" *goes to his room to cry*
and generally it is awkward to ask... anywho, can somone ask a guy (or can a guy please comment here?)
my friend is not yet convinced... in fact, she said that it is like the hunger games, when there is Pitta and Gale, and she does love the old friend, Gale. but she only read the first book, so she doesn't know she choses Pitta in the end!
and Enigma, hi! haven't seen you here for a long time! thanx for commenting... and once again, thankyou for bolstering my argument.. I'm trying to get as many people to say that platonic love is common, so, the more the better! XD
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Re: Platonic love

Postby topazii » Sun May 20, 2012 1:47 pm

I think that most of the times friendship stays friendship, but there's times when friends fall in love.
I think that people in relationship should be friends first and then a couple.
your friend could be right and wrong, from one side there is a platonic friendship but from the other, most of the relationships starts with friedship.
i had a best guyfriend for 11 years and when we met we where 6 years old.
now we are a couple cause we found out that we have feelings for each other.
most of the times ppl are denying their feelings for their friends cause they are scared to loose their friend or be friendzoned.
i think that the best friendships are when both sides like the same sex and they would never love each other that way.
the best relationships are when both sides are first best friends like in "friends".

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Re: Platonic love

Postby chukaliteluvver » Sun May 20, 2012 2:24 pm

topazii wrote:I think that most of the times friendship stays friendship, but there's times when friends fall in love.
I think that people in relationship should be friends first and then a couple.
your friend could be right and wrong, from one side there is a platonic friendship but from the other, most of the relationships starts with friedship.
i had a best guyfriend for 11 years and when we met we where 6 years old.
now we are a couple cause we found out that we have feelings for each other.
most of the times ppl are denying their feelings for their friends cause they are scared to loose their friend or be friendzoned.
i think that the best friendships are when both sides like the same sex and they would never love each other that way.
the best relationships are when both sides are first best friends like in "friends".




Yu is agree or disagree?

I asked a guyfriend, and his general reaction was, "YOU THINK I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU?!" It took about an hour to explain (note to self; do not ask him anything like this EVER AGAIN) and when he (FINALLY) got it, he agreed that no, it doesn't HAVE to be that way.

His argument is that this situation arises so often only cos some people subconciously think that, if they're in a girl-guy friendship, they HAVE to get romantic at some point. They agree with this popular view, and they SUBCONCIOUSLY get themselves to "lurve" their friend. (wow that was the most intellectual thing I've ever heard him say...)

Also, evilopal, is your fwend suggesting that ALL THE GIRLS YOU ASKED ARE UNIQUE IN THAT RESPECT?! Cos, jeez, that is wierd.
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Re: Platonic love

Postby evilopalrocks! » Sun May 20, 2012 3:38 pm

topazii wrote:I think that most of the times friendship stays friendship, but there's times when friends fall in love.
I think that people in relationship should be friends first and then a couple.
your friend could be right and wrong, from one side there is a platonic friendship but from the other, most of the relationships starts with friedship.
i had a best guyfriend for 11 years and when we met we where 6 years old.
now we are a couple cause we found out that we have feelings for each other.
most of the times ppl are denying their feelings for their friends cause they are scared to loose their friend or be friendzoned.
i think that the best friendships are when both sides like the same sex and they would never love each other that way.
the best relationships are when both sides are first best friends like in "friends".

That was LOW!!!!!!! everybody, say hello to Sofia, my friend that HAS A CRUSH ON EVERYGUY SHE THINKS IS HAWT (MOST OF THEM) and decided to open a username anonimusly in order to bolster her opinion. the thing is, she does it very badly...
.
chukaliteluvver wrote:
Also, evilopal, is your fwend suggesting that ALL THE GIRLS YOU ASKED ARE UNIQUE IN THAT RESPECT?! Cos, jeez, that is wierd.

and yes, Sofia thinks everybody is just an exeptional beside her
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Re: Platonic love

Postby evilopalrocks! » Sun May 20, 2012 4:24 pm

and another thing i should bring up:
when I asked one of ma friends, she said that there is platonic love, the way I mean it, but we should mention the origin of the term.
so Plato, the great philosopher, said that a relation between two men is better, more pure than a connection between a man and a woman, because a connection between the opposite genders has sexual tences, and so it is not 100% intelectuall. something like that. of course, there is a bit of a paradox in it, cuz the anciant greeks were flooded with homosexuality, and basically were all bi-sexual. so the whole man and man relation is 100% intelectual doesn't really work... anywho... yup. that what he thought.. just thought it is somwhat valid to the debate.
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Re: Platonic love

Postby opalkoboi » Sun May 20, 2012 6:19 pm

One word: Friendzone

Aside from issues with the friendzone, which tends mainly to be women, men don't really ever friendzone anyone, and nor do I tbh but that's besides the point. Anyway, I don't believe friendship always becomes something more. I have many friends, whom I am very close to, now I'm not denying I am physically attracted to some of them, however I couldn't imagine dating any of them and nor could they imagine dating me. I honestly hate the conception of "friends always turn into something more". Of course, friends can become something more, but that's actually pretty rare thanks to the friendzone.

Just because you have a friend of the gender you're attracted to, doesn't mean the relationship can't be platonic. I really don't understand where this comes from, and as chukaliteluvver said, that's an excessively romantic view on life. And let's face it, by saying this you're basically saying you want to date every guy/girl you meet. People who say they can't are probably, or have been, victims of the friendzone.

Everybody makes this such an issue but it’s not. Some guys/girls can be your friend and some can't, it’s that simple. People are individuals and it's not fair to group all guys together or all girls together as being one way. Friends come in all shapes, sizes, ages, colors AND genders.
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Re: Platonic love

Postby artificialGenius » Sun May 20, 2012 6:26 pm

I have several guy friends who I've been friends with for several years, and I'm not interested in any of them. None of them are quite to the point of being like a brother to me, though, so I'm not sure if it would really count as platonic love. A lot of people think me and a specific one of them are dating, though, since sometimes after school while we're waiting for our parents he'll come and talk to me if my mom is late.

The main reason why people think that if you're in a friendship with someone of the opposite gender you have to be dating is probably because of the media, which often has that happen.
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Re: Platonic love

Postby evilopalrocks! » Sun May 20, 2012 6:29 pm

once again, update. because things got surreal...

Sofia and Danielle went to dinner while disscussing it, and ended up talking about it with the other people in the table. everyone said that platonic love is possible, and common, and apperantly Sofia sorta misunderstood us about what the meaning of "platonic love" is. but she still thinks that in most cases friendship=future romance. that is some idiotic equation, and i say that as a person that sucks in math. one of the guys said somthing like "hmm... uhh... I never had romantic feelings towards a friend who is a girl" and Sofia somhow reached the conclusion that he agrees with her. then she made up some theory about everybody in the school being virgins, and we didn't understand what she was trying to say... ok, we've pretty much closed the discussion about it after reaching the conclusion that she is kinda crazy, and even she doesn't know what point she is trying to make. but she still thinks that you can't be friends with a guy without at least a desire for a romantic relationship.
kinda enjoy arguing about it with her though. we reach a point where we are all screaming simultaniasly, and she is yelling somthing about hawt guys and that she wants to date them, and me and Danielle yell about how cute and perfect Orion is, and one of our guy-friends stands puzzeled in the confusion yelling that Sofia is only contridicting herself and platonic love exists. I kinda want to ask other guys for their opinion too, but it's too awkward... :blush:
opalkoboi wrote:One word: Friendzone

Aside from issues with the friendzone, which tends mainly to be women, men don't really ever friendzone anyone, and nor do I tbh but that's besides the point. Anyway, I don't believe friendship always becomes something more. I have many friends, whom I am very close to, now I'm not denying I am physically attracted to some of them, however I couldn't imagine dating any of them and nor could they imagine dating me. I honestly hate the conception of "friends always turn into something more". Of course, friends can become something more, but that's actually pretty rare thanks to the friendzone.

Just because you have a friend of the gender you're attracted to, doesn't mean the relationship can't be platonic. I really don't understand where this comes from, and as chukaliteluvver said, that's an excessively romantic view on life. And let's face it, by saying this you're basically saying you want to date every guy/girl you meet. People who say they can't are probably, or have been, victims of the friendzone.

Everybody makes this such an issue but it’s not. Some guys/girls can be your friend and some can't, it’s that simple. People are individuals and it's not fair to group all guys together or all girls together as being one way. Friends come in all shapes, sizes, ages, colors AND genders.

what you said in the last paragraph is basically what we tried explaining to her- friends can become couples, but friends doesn't mean couple.
artificialGenius wrote:I have several guy friends who I've been friends with for several years, and I'm not interested in any of them. None of them are quite to the point of being like a brother to me, though, so I'm not sure if it would really count as platonic love. A lot of people think me and a specific one of them are dating, though, since sometimes after school while we're waiting for our parents he'll come and talk to me if my mom is late.

The main reason why people think that if you're in a friendship with someone of the opposite gender you have to be dating is probably because of the media, which often has that happen.

thankyou! *Sofia, are you reading this?* the media makes you think so. but it is not always true!!!!!!!!1
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Re: Platonic love

Postby Merv Simestra » Sun May 20, 2012 10:10 pm

I definitely don't thing that every friendship between a girl and a guy turns into romantic relationship. I've been friends with this one guy since we were toddlers and the only kind of love i have for him is brotherly love: the kind that makes me want to slap him when he's being overly irritating and stupid, and the kind that makes me feel sympathy when he's upset about something. But I've never had an emotional or crush-like feeling for him.

I have lots of older guy friends as well. I think they're cool, goofy, and nice, but I don't have any desire to date them. So basically, I share the majority's perspective that guy/girl friendships don't always turn into romantic relationships. (This, I might add, is coming from a girl who gets a crush on almost every cute guy she sees who she doesn't know. ;))

And topazzi, (nice name by the way :)) if you are Sofia, please do not base reality off of what you read, see, or hear in books, movies, and TV shows. Those are very often not based on real life facts.
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Re: Platonic love

Postby cezen » Mon May 21, 2012 5:32 am

Incase your friend is reading this, I hope she realizes that she's kinda retarded.
(I'm just saying what we're all thinking ;) )

And then basing your argument in tv shows? I never knew people could be so gullible.
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