We've got what the characters have as their answering machines - now let's find out what kind of messages people leave them! :D You can choose to make up completely new ones or quote someone else's message and pretend to be the other person getting back to them! I'll go first:
ARTEMIS'S PHONE (3 Messages):
[and yes, I realize they are not in canoncial order]
#1 - Minerva Paradiso: "Hello, Artemis, it is Minerva. I am sorry I have been too busy to take your calls, but I would very much like to - how they say - "catch up with you". So . . . won any Nobel prizes lately? How is the treatise on the hypotheses of time travel coming along - last I heard you were only on page five hundred and forty three. If you need help finding substantial material, I can help. I shall be waiting for your call."
#2 - Alfred Rozelle: "Hello, Artemis, this is your history teacher, Mr. Rozelle. I was calling about the paper you turned in yesterday. I did set a word limit on this thing, you know, I don't have time to read an historical encyclopedia before Monday's classes, so I would appreciate a revision. Also, I would like some clarification on what you call 'the People'. Do you mean the Aztecs? Mayans? If you don't know the name of the civilization, look it up, don't make up names. I hope to see you - and your revised paper - on Monday."
#3 - Holly Short: "Hey, Mudboy, long time no speak. How are things topside? In case you are wondering, that is code for: WHAT IN FRONDS NAME ARE YOU DOING THAT IS SO D'ARVITTING IMPORTANT THAT YOU DON'T RETURN MY CALLS? Mulch and I have got three customers waiting and you - Mr. Consultant - are being slower than an overstuffed tunnel slug providing the advice I hired you for! . . . Call me back, this is costing a fortune and you're the millionaire, not me."