" So, Butler, why are we at the mall?" asked Artemis, " I mean, ME at the MALL!! And they don't even have a computer store!" Artemis hated going to the mall, too many teenage girls yakking while shopping and taking FOREVER at the checkout. " For the last time, Artemis, we are only here to get Juliet a birthday present." sighed, Butler, " All I have to do is go to the perfume store and buy a bottle of 'Japnese Cherry Blossom', and come back. Can't you find something to do?" Artemis thought it over for a moment and then replied, "Well, I guess I could look at the video store." " Okay then," replied the bodygaurd, " I'll be right back." Butler turned to go to the perfume store. " Oh, and Artemis... try to stay out of trouble." Artemis looked at Butler, " When have I done otherwise?" Butler rolled his eyes and sighed, " Artemis, if I counted all the times you have gotten yourself in trouble, we'd be here all day."
And with that, they turned and went thier seperate ways.
Artemis went to the movie store and started to look around. Then, he found something he just had to have! * I am sure that Butler would love this movie!* thought Artemis. So, he went to the checkout and bought ' My little pony: journey to dessert land/friendship day.
" are you sure you want to buy this young sir?" asked the cashier. " I am a 14-year-old boy, ma'am, I am sure that I can make my own choices." " Okay, that'll be $12.45"
Artemis reached into his wallet, ( Because men don't carry purses.) and pulled out a $20 bill.
" Keep the change," said Artemis, " You have been very helpful." and with a smile, he took the DVD and went to meet Butler back at the food court. When Butler walked up, Artemis was holding a DVD in his hands and looking very excited about something. "What *did* you buy?" questioned the bodygaurd. " Oh, nothing much, just a My little pony DVD!" "My little pony?" reapeted Butler, " Why not 'James Bond'?" Artemis glared at his bodyguard, " You are going to watch this and you are going to like it!" That look in Artemis' eyes really scared Butler.
When they got home, Butler sent Artemis to get Juliet.
When Artemis gave Juliet her gift, she cracked his ribs. This was because he had given her a gist certificate to a wwonderful spa in France. "Thank you Arty!" Artemis didn't mind when Juliet called him Arty.
" You're welcome." replied Artemis, " I also have something else to show you, but it can wait until after this." Butler's gift to his little sister was wrapped ing glitter green paper. When she opend the box, she... 1 squeezed the air out of his lungs and 2 suffocated both Artemis and Butler with all the pefume she sparyed.
Later- after Artemis and Butler took 2 Benidryl- Artemis showed Juliet the DVD. " I love my little pony!" exclaimed Juliet. "So do I!" replied Artemis, " I you know what the best thing is? It was on sale! Now we can pop some popcorn and open some Diet Cola!"
"Yeah! And then we can paint our nails with glittery pink polish!"
Said Butler *very* sarcasticly. " You really want to?" asked Juliet and Artemis in unision. " NO!!! CAN"T YOU TELLL WHEN I'm BEING SARCASTIC?!?!?" " Okay.... I'm going to lay down a few rules. 1 no inturrupting the movie and 2 No hiding your eyes underthe couch pillows! That means you Butler."
"okay Artemis, but if I have nightmares, it your fault."
So, for the next four weeks Butler had nightmares about pink ponies and didn't get his wish to burn the dang DVD. Juliet and Artemis insisted on watching it every night but they made an aggreement not to put it on until Butler was out of the room.
And it took 4 washings to get the perfume smell out of Butler and Artemis' clothes.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy, and good with ketchup.